hi hi hi. i'm feeling a little/very strange. had to leave the Loop and move to a hostel that is quite a way from the centre, in a residential area. i arrived and it was like walking into someone's living room (there is a muslim family running this place, and several of them were sitting around the table), and it's dark, and there's gangs of men outside. the first room they put me in had an open window that was like a metre from street level and had no air conditioning. i asked them to move me so now i'm in a marginally safer-feeling room that's a floor higher up. still. it feels weird not being in the centre any more, i really liked the other hostel, i guess i just took its feeling of safety and cleanliness for granted. and the communal space where you could just sit with other people. and the fact that it was safe to walk down the street outside. lesson learned: do more research (annoyingly i think i should have gone for the one in greektown!). anyway when i first got there i sat on my bed panicking and boiling hot after having closed the window and i just had to call my mum even though i know it's 2 in the morning there. and i know it's selfish but i was on the verge of tears. and she told me to go woth my gut instinct and if i didn't feel safe, to book a hotel - i was tempted but didn't want to be precious about it so i got them to move me upstairs and i'm determined to stick now. i'm here two nights and plan to get out really early tomorrow and spend the whole day exploring chicago and come back late in the evening (after going up the hancock tower to see the sun set over chicago one last time, is my plan). i think i just got a bit worked up and emotional because i suddenly feel a little lonely and tired. i'm going to read for an hour (i'm on to catch 22) and then go to bed (oh and the beds are laid out in a hospital-like arrangement really close to each other, no bunks! intimate.) well anyway, i'm sure this experience is good for me. good night.